Getting Together Again...
by Alexa Harrison
Summary: Tad and Dixie come to a resolution after Leslie Coulson's second visit.
1. The Beginning Again

**December 05, 2001**  
  
_(Tad enters, seeing Dixie sitting on their brown leather sofa, turned away from him, crying softly)_  
  
"Dixie?"  
  
Turning around sharply, she wiped her eyes and sniffled. "Tad...wh-what are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see what you decided to do about JR...what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, really. What I decide to do about JR is between he, Adam, and I. Not you." She sniffled again, touching up her eyes.  
  
"Dix, I...I..don't understand you--"  
  
"You wouldn't Tad, you're only concerned with yourself."  
  
"You know that's not true. You know I love JR...you know I love you."  
  
She looked down, her eyes watering again. "I think you should go."  
  
"No, Dix. I want you to have it out with me--tell me you don't love me, tell me."  
  
Slowly, she lifted her head, tears streaming down her face. "I...I can't Tad."  
  
"Dixie, tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Nothing is wrong Tad."  
  
"Why are you crying?"  
  
"People do that. _Sometimes_ people cry, okay?" He sat down on the couch beside her, reaching out for her hand.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be sorry, Tad. It's all over, there's nothing to be sorry for anymore. I was just...I just got a Christmas card from Hayley and Mateo and...their beautiful baby and I...oh, Tad." She looked into his eyes and fell up against his chest. He slowly put his arm around her. "That could've been us."  
  
His head dropped to her shoulder. "The baby..."  
  
"I'm sorry, Tad. I'm sorry she's not here--she should be...she was my little girl." He held her tightly.  
  
"It's not your fault, Dix--"  
  
"But she was everything, Tad. She was everything you and I ever meant to each other, anything we ever said or did. Every time we made love she was it...my heart, my soul."  
  
His eyes began to water. "Baby..."  
  
"You'll never know how much I love you, Tad. How much you hurt me when you...you make me do this." She sat up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I don't sleep at night because I'm worrying about JR and when I'm not worrying about JR, I'm worrying about you. I wonder where you're sleeping, what you're thinking...if you'll ever come back, if you'll keep trying. I cry myself to sleep at night remembering the baby, I dream of what it might've been like...that day repeats itself so many times."  
  
He held her hand. "Dixie, I love you so much. Always. From the first day at Myrtle's, to the day you had JR, to Laurel Hill, through all three wedding days and the times between...to right now and forever. I'll never love anyone as much as I love you. There's nothing I can do to change that. You make me more than I am. Without you I might as well give up living because I just can't...I can't make it without you."  
  
"What're we gonna do, Tad?"  
  
"I don't know. I'm just...I tried to hard to take all the obstacles out of our life. I didn't want you to ever have to worry about Hayward and what he _might_ do to our family. I can't live like that...I can't live not knowing."  
  
"How do you explain bringing Leslie Coulson back?"  
  
He looked down. "I can't. She was never supposed to be here. I never knew. I...didn't know what would happen--"  
  
"You don't remember last year? She threw me over a balcony, Tad. I could've died--"  
  
"Dixie, I know! I think I prayed to God more times, and more honestly than I ever have that night. I wanted you back...away from David, away from Leslie and it was all running too fast. I...I thought the only thing that could cripple David would be Leslie. It was supposed to be a phone call..."  
  
"You told me she was locked up."  
  
"I lied. I never knew the extent to which...Dixie, Pam begged me to let her take care of Leslie. We didn't have any problems, how was I to know?"  
  
"Are you defending it?"  
  
"I'm only..." he paused briefly. "I only wanted everything to work out. I didn't want anyone locked up, I wanted us to be happy...to be in love and be happy...Dix, we've never had that for too long. It's always taken away from us. I just...I wanted to love you and have you all to myself. I lied...and I'm sorry."  
  
She began crying again.   
  
"What about JR?"  
  
"He...I don't know that he can get past it, Dix."  
  
"I know. It's my fault, Tad...I made him hate you. I shouldn't have."  
  
"You didn't make him hate me. He's protecting his mother, he has to. I know that role all too well. I'd protect my mother in a heartbeat, from anyone."  
  
"Oh, Tad. He's so messed up...I don't know what to do. I can't listen to Adam because...he's Adam and the only person I'd trust with my son is...you."  
  
"Dixie, we'll find a way around it. We always do."  
  
"I love you, Tad."  
  
"I love you, Dix."  
  
Together, Forever. 


	2. Underappreciated and Happy

_(Dixie is sitting alone, on the brown leather sofa in her living room, legs crossed, head rested on one hand, deep in thought)_  
  
"Oh, bah," she mumbled. "What am I going to do?"  
  
Every time it was like this. Anytime Tad left, or she left, or they reconciled or they married again, there was always that sinking feeling in her stomach. She didn't know whether it was an omen or a warning, she couldn't tell anymore. She closed her eyes softly and leaned up against a cushion, holding a small pillow in her hands. Tad walks in, eating a banana. He sits down next to her, peeling the sides.  
  
"Hey Dix, I was thinking...since JR's at Adam's and Jamie's at Brooke's...why don't we play Scrabble?"  
  
Dixie sat up, opened her eyes, confused. "Scrabble, Tad?"  
  
"Just wanted to see if you were awake," he smiled, taking a bite of the banana.  
  
"I'm awake I just...nothing."  
  
"You just...felt like going to sleep?"  
  
"I guess. Actually," she began, moving closer to him. "I want you to tell me about your day."  
  
"About my day?" he asked, swallowing.  
  
"Yeah, normal husband and wife things. Have you noticed we don't do them? I mean, when I see you I kiss you and I say 'love you' before I leave or go to sleep but...but we don't do other _normal_ things."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like..." she smiled. "Like eating together as a family...even if it's just you and me. We always go to SOS or BJ's or something, or we eat in here or we don't eat a _meal_ at all."  
  
"...okay, I don't have a problem with doing that. What else?"  
  
"Well...we don't talk about _things_ anymore."  
  
"What are talking about? We _talk_ all the time, we're _talking_ now," he said, playfully, eating the last bits and playing with the peel.  
  
"No...I mean about songs you like, or someone you met or how the weather is warm this time of year. We always make time to talk about other people's problems, and our own selfish problems, and our kids--don't get me wrong, I don't mind talking about the kids but...but what if I'd like to know what political party you're in and what book you read last...something like that."  
  
"I thought you'd just pick up on it."  
  
"Okay, Tad...what was the last book I read?"  
  
He took straight ahead. "Uh...it was that one with the white cover wasn't it? Or was it blue...? It doesn't matter it was..._The Great Gatsby_, you were going to help JR write a paper about it. _That_, I remember," he smiled, egotistically.  
  
"Yeah, I did read that this summer. But the _last_ book I read was actually _Sense and Sensibility_."  
  
"Really? Why'd you read that?"  
  
"Tad!" she laughed, "what does it matter? You didn't 'pick up on it.'"  
  
"Who needs to worry about the small things when you're in love?" he moved closer to her. "You're all I ever thinking about, not your books or what we're having for dinner." He moved closer, kissing her on the lips. He moved back a little, noticing she hadn't flinched. He moved back in a traced his tongue along her lips, kissing her again.  
  
"Tad!" she exclaimed, pushing him back. "No, no, no, that's besides the point. I'm beginning to think I'm underappreciated."  
  
He flung himself up against the cushions. "Underappreciated?"  
  
"Yes. Like...I don't have a job. All I do is sit around and cater to you and JR and Jamie, and whoever else in Pine Valley who needs their Dixie-fix for the day. God forbid Palmer calls, I could be over there all day because someone turned a stamp the wrong way around."  
  
"Dix, if you want a job...get one. But we tried this last year and look where we are now. I just...I want you safe at home."  
  
"You always want me safe at home. You're not my father, Tad, and I'm not going to fall at any sudden moment."  
  
"Because you're woman, and I can hear you roar?"  
  
She laughed, "exactly."  
  
"Can I still say 'I love you'?"  
  
"Why wouldn't you?"  
  
"Just checking." He paused, "Dix, I love you."  
  



	3. Confrontation with JR

_(continued from previous scene: Dixie is leaning up against Tad's chest, hugging him. They both are quickly lost and sit holding each other. Dixie looks down)_  
  
"What else is wrong?" he asked, leaning back to look at her.  
  
She twisted her head slowly, "nothing, really."  
  
"Come on," he said, messaging her shoulders. "You tense up, you look down, you're distant. Tell me what's going on."  
  
"It's just..." she began. "Things are so weird lately. JR he's...he's got such an attitude, Tad. I...I didn't raise him like that. He used to be so respectful and even when he started doing drugs he wasn't lashing out at everyone. Tad...I don't know what to do. He's my son, he's a piece of me and I cannot even raise him enough that he says 'yes, ma'am' and 'no, sir' you know?"  
  
"Don't be so hard on him, Dix. He's a teenager. I don't even want to begin my story of being a teenager---"  
  
"...and I don't want to hear it." She smiled. "I'd like to think my son is a little less of a...what was it...'cad' than others."  
  
"Hey, look how the 'cad' ended up, eh? I'm here aren't I?"  
  
"That's not the point. He used to be so focused. On his music, on his grades...I'd be happy if it were on girls or video games or _something_ other than drugs. You didn't see the way he acted with Adam...well, even the way he acted with you. Tad, you've been everything but his father since...since always, I was angry with you but he was beyond that. I just, I don't know where I went wrong."  
  
"Is he going to the shrink?"  
  
"_Psychiatrist_, Tad. He's supposed to. But I can't help but look back and wonder what started all of this. It wasn't Hayward--JR wouldn't just take drugs like candy being offered to him, you know?"  
  
"I wouldn't underestimate Hayward."  
  
"Tad," she warned. "I'm afraid it's because...or I'm afraid the psychiatrist is going to say it's his environment. _I'm_ detramental to my son...am I? Did I put him through more than he should've gone through?  
  
"Dix, he's Adam Chandler's son. That alone...explains a lot, I'm sure it's hereditary."  
  
"Don't insult him, Tad." She said, putting her hands on his chest, as if to stop him. "He's _my_ son before he's Adam's son all right?"  
  
"Dixie, it's me you're talking to. I've been here...the whole time. I know JR. He may not like to think I do--but I don't mean I know what he's thinking or even his perspective on a few things, but I know his general response to things. What JR needs is a punching bag, maybe a military camp or something."  
  
"Tad, I would never send my son to a military camp."  
  
"That's why it was a joke, but he's going to start acting out--"  
  
"Why, though? That's what I want to know. Do I not give him enough attention? Have I not always told him I loved him, that he's the only thing in my life?" she begged. She moved back to his arms, nudging her head against his chest. "Tad, I love him so much and I...I don't want him to find out too late. With this girl...Frankie's death, I just feel that he's starting to get on the wrong side of things and I'm worried for him. I'm so scared."  
  
At that moment, JR burst into the room. "What Mom, you think I'm gonna kill myself because you don't love me?" he yelled, sarcastically.  
  
"JR!" she responded, turning around quickly.  
  
"Who the Hell do you think I am? Do you listen to me at all? Have you ever?"  
  
He stood behind the couch, Dixie slowly stood up to answer him. "JR, I've always been here for you. What have I done that makes you hate me so much?"  
  
"Let's see," he began. "First of all, you don't trust me. That goes a long way, let's make that count for two."  
  
"JR you're on drugs!" Tad interjected, standing up. "You've been on drugs for a while and you _lied_ about it. How can we trust you?"  
  
"That's just it," JR began, calmly. "You keep saying 'we' but there is _no_ 'we' here, all right. There is me, my father and my mother and you are not a part of it. You may screw my mom when you feel like it but that will never make you my father!"   
  
"JR!" Dixie screamed. He ran out of the door, slamming it behind him. The house was quiet for a minute, the remeaning inhabitants, speechless. Dixie began choking on air, she fell on to the couch crying. Tad caught her and held her to his chest.  
  
"Tad, I..." she cried. "I'm so awful to do this to my son. Look what I've made him. He hates me." 


	4. Making Way

(_Dixie cries into Tad's chest, he holds her close and tries to make her happy with no success_)  
  
"C'mon, Dix...he doesn't hate you."  
  
"Tad, did you see that? He's out of control, and I don't know what to do or what I could've done. He didn't just _snap_, Tad...no one snaps, you know this has been building and I...I didn't see it. I was preoccupied, and I brought it on myself. It's me."  
  
"Dix, sit down," he motioned to the couch. She looked around and flopped onto the leather, holding a cushion to her chest. "Remember what happened before you went to Laurel Hill? How Adam gaslit you into thinking you were trying to kill JR? Remember that?"  
  
"Yeah," she mumbled as he sat down beside her.  
  
"Yeah, well I was outside, just like you wanted me to be and I saw you through the window. I saw you hold him, and feed him, and mother him. I heard you tell him you loved him over and over again, even while Adam was deceiving you. But you thought you were trying to kill him. You were going to sacrifice your freedom to save your child---"  
  
"To save my child from my own hands, Tad."  
  
"Wait, wait. I got you out, didn't I?"  
  
"Out of Laurel Hill? Well...yeah...Tad, what does this have to do with anything?"  
  
"Dixie, that was the beginning, and I was there. I was there when you took him to Pigeon Hollow, and when you brought him back. I was there when he trashed the car and when he performed with his band...Dix, I was there."  
  
"What are you getting at?"  
  
"He doesn't hate you, Dixie. He can't. No one could hate you if you did everything you could to save him, to love him, to protect him. Dix, he's...he's just a teenager and he's rebelling. I rebelled in a sort of promiscuous way and this is where I am today, still apologizing, still screwing up. Dix, if you love him...let him go."  
  
"What? You want me to sit here and watch a movie and eat popcorn while my son might be ODing on drugs in an alley somewhere? What if he's running away, Tad? Or going to a judge---he'll try and...oh, Tad..I'm so afraid because I don't know what he'll try or how far he'll go. I don't know what he's done or what he will do...I'm so scared. This is my son. I gave birth to him, I...I love him, Tad, and I can't let him go."  
  
"For a little while. Let him calm down. If you trust him---"  
  
"But I don't, Tad. Especially lately. He told me, you and I, that he'd never touch drugs again and he'll keep saying it just like Will--" she stopped herself.  
  
"Just like Will what?"  
  
Dixie stood up, turning away and fumbling with her necklace. "I...I...nothing."  
  
"Just like Will what?" he repeated.  
  
She turned around quickly. "I don't want him to end up like Will, all right? Dead; rotting in a grave somewhere. This thing with this girl...this Frankie, I just want to be with JR right now. I want him to know that his Mother isn't some self-righteous uncaring animal. I want him to trust me."  
  
"You're his mother. You've got to decide what's in his best interest--"  
  
"...and letting him go is going to be it? You think letting him roam around on his own, considering the way things have been going, is in his best interest?"  
  
"I think he's old enough that he'll use the time, Dix. I think he needs some air. Just like you don't want him to end up like Will, I don't want him to end up like Adam. Self-righteous, invading--according to his intentions, he's a saint. JR just doesn't care."  
  
"I want him to care, Tad. Maybe...maybe I need to go talk to this shrink he's seeing. Maybe I need to see him for myself. JR and I have...we have so many obstacles. I guess I've been oblivious."  
  
"Well...then something else is on the line."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"What we were talking about before JR came down," he looked into her eyes. "Are we getting back together or not?"  
  
Dixie's hands flew up to the sides of her head. "Argh..., Tad! Do I really have to think about this right now?"  
  
Tad stood up, his arms outstretched. "Dixie, I love you. I love JR. I want to help you, I want to encourage you, I want you and JR and I to have dinner and play Scrabble and I want to help JR with his homework and give him dating advice. But I need to know if you want me there! I can't just sit here with delusions of grandeur while the boy I used to call my son is prancing around town and his mother is putting me off! Dix, I need to know."  
  
Dixie looked to the ground, and then up again. "I'm afraid to, Tad. Apparently, I'm afraid of everything and I'm afraid of surrendering to you and finding myself up against a wall again. Finding myself without a leg to stand on. I have so much love for you and...and I said I love you, and it's not a lie. I said I wanted to get back together, and it's not a lie either. But I'm afraid that in two weeks or two months or two years, when things start to settle down that you'll change your mind, you'll get careless and paranoid you're going to 'lose' me and I'm going to run away from that. I'm afraid of that, Tad. It's happened before...a million times before and I think...I just think that right now it's too much. What if I can't handle it?"  
  
"Dix, you can handle anything. You don't have to handle me. When I look a you, I'm saved. I see you every morning and I realize what I've got--what I've had, what I lost, and what I've got. I want you, Dixie, I want this. I want to be 'Tad the Dad' and leave 'Tad the Cad' behind--"  
  
"What if I can't trust that?"  
  
"My word?"  
  
"It's always been your word, Tad. It's been your vow, your promise, your jewelry, your jokes. It's alway been my _wish_. I'm too idealistic to give up but I can't keep holding on to someone that doesn't want me, to someone who'll give up on me."  
  
"I knew this more than JR. I knew it was just adding fuel to the flame."  
  
"Please Tad, stop thinking this is about you---"  
  
"I'm thinking it's about you. It's all about you and how much I need you, how much we need each other and what we have to do about our family. It's got to happen soon, Dix. We're running out of time with JR and you know that."  
  
"Tad, I...I need you. Is that what you wanted to hear?"  
  
"I've been waiting for ages," he said, smiling. "Let's go find JR...and then, we'll think of what we can do." 


	5. Bringing it All Together

(_Tad searches around him for a jacket, heading for the door. Dixie stands in front of the couch, her hands on her hips_)  
  
"Uh...actually, Tad, I agree with you."  
  
"Agree with me, what?"  
  
"I...I think we should let JR come home on his own. I don't _want_ to, but I don't know of any other way. It's when Erica went looking for Bianca that she got caught in her mess, so...I'll let him come home on his own."  
  
"But Dix," he said, pausing behind the couch. "JR isn't Bianca. Besides, he was there when Erica went looking for Bianca and that's why we're here now. Are you taking Adam's hands-off method?"  
  
"Come here, Tad." Slowly he walked forward, looking directly at her. "I love JR. You know, I know...everyone knows I love JR and that I'd give my life for him."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I can't control his life. I don't know what kind of games Adam is playing...whether it's for Liza or what but JR needs direction. I've tried. I...I don't know how to raise a child. I'm learning. I don't know if I should look to Ruth or Opal or Erica or my Mother...because everything seems so different everywhere and...I'm not going to read books because I know JR better than anyone else and he's not going to slip away from me like this. I want him to get help, but I want him to help me."  
  
"You think he's doing this for attention?"  
  
"A little bit. I don't know why. Maybe because I've been so self-centered or...I don't know what's been going around with this house since we...since Leslie Coulson came back. Everything changed, Tad. Not just between you and me, it's like a bad aura just jumped into the centre of my world."  
  
"Well, what do we do?"  
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. "I just want a hug, Tad," she whispered into his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist.   
  
"We're going to figure something out...don't worry."  
  
She pulled away from him, holding his hands in hers. "I'm not. I'm not going to worry. I trust that JR will make decisions in his best interest. I trust that he'll make mistakes because we all do and that...things will work themselves out."  
  
"You're such a wonderful mother, Dixie."  
  
"If was such a wonderful mother, my son would be roasting smores over the fireplace right now or upstairs doing his homework. Somewhere along the lines I screwed up. JR isn't gone forever...he's a good kid."  
  
(_enter JR. His face is flushed, his hair mussed up._)  
  
"So, you're still here," he said, brushing a hand through his head. He stood in the doorway, Dixie peering at him behind Tad.  
  
"Yes, I'm still here, JR. I'll always be here."  
  
"Don't know why---"  
  
"So I can help you."  
  
"Why would I need your help?"  
  
"JR, why don't you just...just sit down" Dixie asked, coming to him and wrapping her arm around him. "Ooh, you're cold. Just sit down and I'll turn up the heat," she guided him to the couch. He sat down without a word, rubbing his hands together. Tad sat down in an adjoining chair, Dixie walking past him to turn the heat up.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tad," he said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look, I said I'm sorry, okay? Don't press for more."  
  
"Thank you, JR. Thank you."  
  
"Okay," Dixie said, reentering. "Heat's up." She sat down next to JR, rubbing his hands again.  
  
"Mom you don't have to baby me. I'm cold...I'll get warmer."  
  
She stopped, "I'm sorry I just...I'm sorry."  
  
"Look, if you guys don't mind, I'm just going to sleep now. I'm tired."  
  
"JR...you don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't want to but, can you please go back Tuesday?"  
  
"Sure, Mom. Whatever."  
  
Dixie watched JR leave the room, then turned to Tad. "What the Hell do you think that was?"  
  
"What?" Tad whispered.  
  
"JR...he left here in a hurry--he was angry and on the edge of something horrible and he comes back cold, but calm and collected. I don't get it."  
  
"The cold'll do that sometimes."  
  
"Tad, I might've been born at night but it wasn't last night. Don't talk to me like I'm inferior. You know as well as I do that something was changed in him, tell me you didn't see it."  
  
"I think we should just...maybe go upstairs to talk about this."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"...because I just want to be honest with you and I cannot--I can't risk JR misunderstanding something he might here."  
  
"Just what---"  
  
"Shh--. Let's just go upstairs, okay? Besides, we have some other business we have to attend to don't we?" he asked, kissing her softly on the lips. She kissed him back, putting her head on the back of his neck. "Mmm..." 


	6. Party of Five?

(_Tad and Dixie are kissing on the couch_)  
  
"Wait," Dixie interrupted, pushing Tad away softly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"There's something else...I wanted to tell you something else while JR was gone but I..." she looked away, "I'm such a coward, Tad."  
  
"Why? What do you need to say? This is the time for confessions anyway, go ahead and talk."  
  
She held his hands and fingered his wedding ring. Slowly, she raised her head; her eyes watery. "I..."  
  
"Dix, what's wrong?" he asked, sympathetically.  
  
She smiled and shook her head. "I'm going to...well, Tad it's important to me to know that you're going to be around for a while."  
  
"What do you mean? Of course I'm going to be around for a while. As long as you'll have me."  
  
"No...I mean, you're not going to do anything like you did in the past year? On both sides. I won't and you won't, right? We'll show everyone that we really can stay together?"  
  
"Dixie, I've always wanted that."  
  
"Promise me, Tad. Promise me nothing will go wrong."  
  
"Dixie, baby, I promise. I'll never do anything to hurt you---"  
  
"Don't say that."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you and I have both said it before. Okay, it gets old because we always find a way around it. I...I was going through our wedding pictures last night and I remembered our vows and it...it just made me sick to my stomach. That was what...two years ago and already we've broken up twice, had affairs, run away---"  
  
"But the love's still there, Dix. It will always be there."  
  
"I know, but will that be enough? I've loved with everything since I met you...how many years ago? We've been married three times with the same guests and the same promises that turn out like wishes and I just want to make sure. I'm so embarrassed, Tad. Embarrassed for us because we turn out just like everyone else but we try harder than anyone else not to, you know?"  
  
"That, I know. We're developing an Erica Kane track record with each other."  
  
Dixie chuckled. "I know, I don't want that."  
  
"Hon, what's bothering you?"  
  
"It's not that something's bothering me it's that I've got to start preparing for something and I've got to make sure you'll be behind me."  
  
"I'm always behind you," he leaned over, seriously. "Dix, I'd give my life for you."  
  
She looked into his eyes again. Tears were streaming down her face, he edged closer to her, holding their hands up near his heart.  
  
"You're not sick are you, baby?"  
  
"No, Tad," she sniffled. "I'm not sick, really. I'm...wait a minute, okay. I'm not done. I uh...I need to know that you'll stick behind my decisions and you'll help me, Tad, I need your help."  
  
He edged closer to her, removing one of his hands to wrap around her back. "Baby, anything."  
  
"I need to know that whatever I decide, you'll hear me out and support me. Can you do that?"  
  
"As long as you don't mean joining to Republican party," he smiled.  
  
Dixie chuckled, "I'm serious, Tad."  
  
"You were so happy earlier, Dix. Now you're crying...I feel like I've made you angry or confused and I don't know how. Smile for me again."  
  
Dixie smiled, "it's good news, Tad. If you're willing to see it the way I see it."  
  
"I'm ready, baby."  
  
She closed her eyes and sighed, then opened them and sniffled once, looking into his eyes, squeezing his hand. "I'm pregnant."  
  
There was an awkward silence. Tad pulled her close and laid his head on her shoulder, she let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He wrapped his other hand around her waist.  
  
Tad pulled her back, to look at her once more. She was reluctant to lose her place, her face stained with tears. "Why are you crying, baby?"  
  
"I'm so...Tad, I'm scared."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because of JR, because of what happened last time, because of you and me...I'm so scared that it's all going to fall down at once and I won't be able to handle it."  
  
Tad pulled her back into his chest. "I'm not going to let anything hurt you. We've been through this before and we're not going through it again."  
  
"So...so, you're happy, Tad?"  
  
"I'm happy. What're we going to name it?"  
  
Dixie looked up at him, wiping her eyes. "It?"  
  
"Well, yeah. Assuming it's a human baby and all---Dix, even if you had a kangaroo it'd need a name, right?"  
  
"You don't think it's a little early for that?"  
  
"We've got months and months to have arguments over what that name is gonna be, we might as well start now."  
  
Dixie smiled, leaning up against the couch, holding Tad's hands. "Tad, don't tell JR, okay? I'll tell him later...or we'll tell him later, I don't want him to know now...there's too much going on."  
  
"My lips are sealed."  
  
"So...what are you thinking now?"  
  
"I'm thinking how beautiful and happy you are when you're pregnant."  
  
"Tad!" she laughed, hitting him on the shoulder. "Stop it."  
  
"I'm serious. And the house is clean, and I find new things in the fridge all the time...it's a glorious couple of months."  
  
"I hate you," she teased.  
  
"Actually, when you were pregnant with JR...that was pretty rough."  
  
"Yeah well, you're not Adam. I haven't fallen down any stairs and you haven't tried to drive me crazy, literally...but don't get any ideas."  
  
"Don't worry, I stopped playing that game years ago."  
  
"Tad...you are happy, aren't you?"  
  
"Dixie, I couldn't be happier." 


	7. In Motion

_(Takes place two weeks later, Dixie is planning on meeting a world reknowned obstetrician at SOS. She fidgets, and taps her fingers on a table in the back with nervousness)_  
  
"Oh Lord, please let everything go right," she whispered to herself. A man approached her table. He wore a faded grey suit with glasses sticking out of the top pocket. His hair was a salt-and-pepper colour, slicked back; he fingered a small goatee when she looked up at him.  
  
"Bess Cooney?" he asked.  
  
Dixie smiled, offering him a seat. "Actually, my name is Dixie Martin---well, Dixie Cooney-Martin but...I'm just a little overprotective of myself. I don't...I don't want my husband to know I'm seeing you."  
  
"It is his child, is it not?"  
  
"Oh yes, of course..." she looked down. "I just...I had a miscarriage last year and if he knew I was even the slightest bit nervous about things going wrong this time, he's going to panic."  
  
He smiled. "I understand. Well, let me introduce myself. I'm Doctor Patrick Carrera."  
  
"Dr. Carrera, thank you so much for seeing my on such short notice. I'm so happy you're one of the few people who are on good terms with Adam."  
  
"It fades throughout the years, I'm sure that's the reason. Now, you said your name was Martin?"  
  
"Yes, Dixie Martin."  
  
"I assume you're _not_ married to Adam."  
  
Dixie chuckled. "Lord, no. Not anymore. Adam's my ex-husband, but he's the father of my son, JR. But now, I'm married to Tad Martin--the baby's father."  
  
"I'm sorry to ask so many questions, curiosity just gets the best of me."  
  
"It's completely okay, the only thing I care about is getting through the next nine months."  
  
"Okay, Adam didn't give me much of a background on you. Why are you worried about the next nine months---is it just the fact that you miscarried last year?"  
  
"Well no, I miscarried yes but...I have what is called pericardia--or fluid around the heart. Apparently it developed because I donated a kidney to my brother Del---Dr. Carrera, if you don't mind...I'm just a wreck about all of this and--" she stopped short. Through the corner of her eye she saw Tad enter the club.  
  
"Wreck about?" Dr. Carrera lead on.  
  
Dixie's lips parted, she caught her breath. "I'm just nervous is all. The doctors here say I can have a baby, and then no, that it wouldn't be safe but...I just need a straight answer. I'm pregnant now and I..." she paused again, watching Tad. "...and I want to keep the baby. My husband and I have wanted this for so long."  
  
"Is there something bothering you, Mrs. Martin? You seem distracted?"  
  
"It's my husband...he just walked in. Is there any way we can set up another meeting--at the hospital or something and do some tests or whatever you need done?"  
  
"Absolutely. I know you're being cautious, so I don't want to get in the way. I'll call you later this week and we can make the arrangements, all right?"  
  
"Thank you so much, Doctor Carrera, you don't know how much I appreciate this."  
  
He walked away. Dixie sighed, putting a hand to her head. Tad spotted her and smiled, easing his way over. She returned the smile.  
  
"Hey, Dix, what're you doing here?"  
  
"I'm....waiting for you, didn't you get my message?" she covered.  
  
"What message?" he said, sitting opposite her and dipping a straw in his lemonberry drink.  
  
"I told JR to tell you to meet me here, so we could have lunch."  
  
"Oh well, I haven't been home. Out and about all day--good Lord, it's cold outside. I just stepped in to get something to drink, fancy meeting you here," he smiled again, moving to sit next to her.  
  
"Tad, you know," she paused, jabbing a cherry in his drink with the straw and putting it in her mouth. "I really think this is going to be great. The more I think about it...the more I know."  
  
He kissed her cheek. "Of course it is. Hey, I've gotta go do some stuff for Mama, are you doing home after this?"  
  
"Um, yeah...I think. I need to talk to JR, he has to go to this trial, you know."  
  
"Erica's trial? You know, for a few days I totally forgot about it. God, Dix...I think he knows more than we do about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hate that he has to do this."  
  
"So do I...but the simpler it is for everyone to see he isn't at fault, the less we have to worry about with the drug charges."  
  
"Yeah, well I'll try and pick something up for dinner, all right?" he kissed her lips, pausing for a moment to take her in. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Tad. Be safe."  
  
He left and she sat there with his warmth on her lips. Her heart was pounding. She hadn't lied to him, and what she was doing was helping, not hurting her. There was just too much going on. 


End file.
